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Tips for Talking to Defensive People

Instead, you’re more likely to either shut down or blow up in anger. When conflict is mismanaged, it can cause great harm to a relationship, but when handled in a respectful, positive way, conflict provides an opportunity to strengthen the bond between two people. Whether you’re experiencing conflict at home, work, or school, learning these skills can help you resolve differences in a healthy way and build stronger, more rewarding relationships. how to deal with someone who avoids conflict While it can be tempting to bottle up feelings like anger and frustration by not rocking the boat, conflict-avoiding tendencies can take a toll on your mental health. At its most basic level, cognitive reframing helps you looks at a situation, person, thought or feeling from a different perspective. It’s a strategy that helps you open your mindset to a new point of view, a new angle on what’s happening so you can think differently about it.

how to deal with someone who avoids conflict

When you are in a romantic relationship, you likely want to feel comfortable speaking openly and honestly with your partner. When this open dialogue doesn’t occur, relationship satisfaction tends to decrease. In a committed romantic relationship, there are often challenges and conflicts you and your partner will face. The challenges occur because a relationship consists of two individuals, each with their own goals, motives, and desires that don’t always align with one another. Being aware of how your emotions impact you can help you gain a greater understanding of yourself and others. Before confronting someone, try examining and questioning your feelings.

Reframe confrontation

And there are times that it’s really the best thing to let it go. So as an avoider, you have to realize that’s going to be your default. Conflict avoiders, on the other hand, tend to value harmony and relationships.

When you can’t do this with your mate, it may leave you feeling like things are unfair. Avoiding conflict may harm your relationship because it may feel like your bond isn’t real. This can be stressful when you can’t talk to your partner about everything and work out differences or https://ecosoberhouse.com/ talk about your differing opinions. In some cases, conflict avoidance may have been reinforced when a person was growing up. If they said they were unhappy or acted like they had a problem when they were young, they might have been treated unfairly by their parents or caregivers.

The Three Ways Conflict Avoidance Hurts Your Relationships

Often these feelings continue growing in the background, until we’re totally overwhelmed and “blow up” at someone. While avoiding conflict may seem easier in the short run, it can be detrimental over time. Read on to learn more about the costs of avoiding conflict, for ourselves and our relationships. Since moving in with her partner, Madeline has done most of the household chores. She’s feeling frustrated with the situation, but she doesn’t want to start a fight. As time goes on, Madeline can feel her resentment building.

You don’t have to make sure they tell the truth all the time. Even if you can admit a tiny bit that you’re wrong in a situation, it can open up a conversation tremendously to the other person, saying, well, actually I was behaving passive-aggressively. Any vulnerability you can show is really going to encourage the other person to do the same.

Core skill 2: Emotional awareness

This may include only interacting on the phone for 15 minutes, limiting text messages, or even not responding to emotionally laden texts or e-mails. With HCPs, this means accepting that their behaviors and ways of communicating and interpreting reality will likely not change. What can change are your strategies and understanding of their personality limitations.

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